Foto de Graciela Braverman
"There is no reason not to undertake what appears to be necessary and impossible."
Ortega Y Gasset
"Everything will reach solemn fool, if permitted by your height"
Almafuerte.
When we fall in love everything about the other is ideal. When a young couple or not much is known, the first thing that prevails between the two is a state of infatuation where sexual passion is intense and the other the soul mate, takes the place of all.
We found the ideal person, that we dream, but this ideal exists only within us. It overestimates the beloved subject.
It is common that lovers are always thinking of the beloved, and to devote an extraordinary amount of time.
Naturally, this profound approach occurs at the beginning of the hype (idealization) of the virtues of the other, an overestimation that makes "our beloved" is what the imagination wants it.
One loves in principle by something we share with other biological species, instinct. One also evaluates your female partner for its ability to reproduce, to produce pleasure, her beautiful body, heavy hips and legs that would represent what our children. In humans it is estimated the commitment and maturity to understand.
The state of being in love is not very different from that of a hypnotized person, because even the smallest desires of the other are like orders, so take everything. All that is real to the hypnotist or the, is real for me.
In the crush the object is placed in the place of everything to which we aspire. There is a blindness of love, "Love is Blind." Here is a danger of reducing our self-esteem and poor, slaves of love, of the Other.
He says a song by Joan Manuel Serrat:
"... Do not think that has anything against you if you run over the street and do not say goodbye, because they do not see you. Do not talk of ingratitude, you know that your company believes it is worth, not that idiot has become Suddenly, judging by that stupid smile, or think you are mistaken if you called Margarita. It is difficult, but try to understand that the soul is broken but you see him mourn, no foul play by not telling the truth or hide anything because hide some things. Give it time and excuse the arrogance of a man who feels lucky. Let the boy sing, the one who is in love ... "
But at some point in the relationship, they begin to know further, when the fever has passed Saturday night. The idealization in the other goes down, laying face with the reality, nobody is perfect, no relationship is perfect, and the day to day daily relationship shows that the loved one also has many virtues, some "defects" . Some failures. And this is where many couples are separated. No wonder the high number of divorces.
Many people want the advantages of singleness without compromise, using sensual fun. It is one of the options in life.
Many complain that at this exact moment lost love and euphoria disappears. How can we keep the flame alive for a long time? Is not no love that lasts forever?
One of the virtues of being in a solid partner that no boat has left the relationship, is that the sexual-genital, passion facing competition from other feelings of tenderness and affection, allowing us to want or desire the other; not only for sexual gratification, but for various other things.
The aim-inhibited sexual impulses, who can not consume, produce more durable bond because they can not complete satisfaction, as in friendship.
And there are good treatment, the company, and practical common sense, solidarity and empathy, sense of humor, the daily value, willingness to stand with us to share the bounty.
The passion is sublimated (not all, boys) to other feelings such as joint projects, shared desires, professionals, in brief: One World, the Prayer.
Lasting love is that which combines sensual love and tender feelings (which are extinguished by the satisfaction and then return), where each one is presented as is and can develop their potential and their life and vocation with his partner.
Victor Michelon www.http://lamagahoy.blogspot.com
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